California Educator

fine, loves them, is thinking of them and will call as soon as they can," she continues. "Sometimes they will ask if they can write to dad in the middle of class. I let them take that time, because that's where the kid is at emotionally at that moment. Some of the kids bring pictures of dad to school and take out the picture when they miss him. Sometimes they need to cr y and a teacher will say, 'We'll go outside a n d c r y, i t's O K .' These are sixthgraders and they really tr y, but sometimes they can't hold it together because they're so worried." There have been some fatalities of parents whose children attend Condor Elementary School, says Dougwillo, but so far, none have been parents of children in her classroom. But when something bad does happen, all of the students usually know about it immediately. "We don't talk about it, because it's not anything you want to dwell on," she explains. "With their own parents gone, you don't want to have that discussion." And she seldom tells her students about her stepdaughter's husband, who was killed in Iraq in 2006. "It's not something you want to share, because you don't want to scare them," she explains. "But this war is very, very real to me." When the war first began, counselors met with the students regularly and held school-sponsored letter-writing campaigns and collected items for care packages to be delivered. But as the war lingered on, years after former President Bush declared "mission accomplished," such activity gradually diminished. "At first the war was shocking and scary for everybody," recalls Dougwillo. " The base put cement blocks all around the school as a safety precau- ABOVE: Melissa Norquist with sixth-grader Brianna Bickle at Twentynine Palms Elementary School. LEFT: Photos of a parent serving in the Marines in a student's supply case. BELOW: Student Jesika Johnson works on an assignment. tion. But what was scary has become normal. I don't know if that's a good thing or not." The base has stepped up to assist students with programs such as "Operation Hero," an after-school program where military personnel help students deal with the stress and problems associated with having a parent in the military. Over the years, communication has improved, so that students can regularly e-mail a parent in Iraq, which has eased some of the stress. Staying in communication is more difficult in Afghanistan, however, and students may not hear from parents for months at a time. In a way, teachers in Twentynine Palms are also soldiering on to help students weather challenging circumstances. There have been years of unrelenting stress, and some teachers admit they are becoming somewhat weary. "There have been a few of us here at the school since the war started, and we band together," says Dougwillo. "I guess you could say that going through this has made us stronger as people. It has also made us stronger as teachers." june 8-21 June.09.indd 21 2009 | www.cta.org 21 6/4/09 1:58:28 PM

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